I just need to vent and I no longer have a myspace or facebook and I don't want to call anyone because i am waiting on a phone call from the person that has me all up in knots. Sooooo here goes. I started dating Amanda in June, not too long but not really all that recent either. considering my ex who is now a good friend claims she loves a dude after 2 months. I don't know what it is about this woman. She drives me nuts in both the good and bad way. I could roll off a list of all the wonderful things about her but you all don't care lol. She hasn't done anything "wrong." I just don't see her for a day and I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can't bring myself to tell her about this for fear of scaring her off. She is in a hectic time in her life. She is paying for school, an apt., a car, and working while doing it. Oh and is about to have to move to some where new out of some feeling of debt to one of her good friends who needs a place to live. So yeah the added stress of a boyfriend who is flipping his shit because he doesn't know wtf to do isn't going to help the stress level. for one of the first times in my life I can't just tell myself," this is no biggie, you can deal with this. Whatever happens you can handle it." AND i HATE IT! I just don't want to take that risk of her saying she can't deal with that right now, even if she could end up with the same feelings, but it is just too much to deal with right now....So yeah i don't really expect any replies. Have a wonderful day because my is completely fucked.
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October 29th 2009, 11:34 pm
